the musings of a cynical optimist

Archive for the ‘health’ Category

Haiku: Copper IUD

Blood gushing always

everywhere stabbing gut pain

agony no fun 

blood

 

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Life changing and not so life changing books

There are 3 books I am parting with and each has touched my life in a different way.

  1. The Beauty Myth – Naomi Wolf
    Beauty myth

    True dat

    If there is one book that has most changed my life – it’s this one. I remember in grade 9, feeling like I wasn’t supposed to be in my own body, thinking that being a boy would be so much easier. It was a maintenance thing really. There was the constant shaving of legs and pits, doing hair, covering up bad skin. It was an exhausting amount of hard work. It snowballed from there into confusing double standards in relationships with men, and ongoing fears about how my gender impacts my quest for self-actualization.

    What I learned from this book is that it is easy to control and profit from people who have self-doubt and self-hatred. Being ‘free’ but self-loathing can feel like of a prison. So explore who profits from your self-doubt and then engage with these people and businesses appropriately. Around this time I stopped reading Cosmo -too many mixed messages and pictures of J. Lo Benjamin Buttoning.

    The other thing I learned from this book is that although women have been a main target for this, it impacts men too. This has become more apparent in recent years with men I know fretting and spending a good chunk of money on body hair removal, anti-aging products and make up, a concept unheard of a few decades ago.

    Ultimately, this sort of self hate, regardless of who is experiencing it, is super shitty for sex lives! There is a certain level of inhibition with sex that is not easily accessed when one is worried about living up to fabricated standards of how they should look, act and feel.

    Number of times i’ve reread this book – 0

2) The Raw Food Detox Diet – Natalia Rose

From the forward: ‘As a cosmetic surgeon, my patients are always asking me how to enhance their appearance and quality of life.”  Why a cosmetic surgeon seemed like the best person to endorse this book is anyones guess.

This book lays out the simple steps to becoming a raw foodist. There are 5 different ‘levels’ to graduate through. Inspiring chapter titles include ‘Stop poisoning your cells’ and ‘You need to take the garbage out.’ Science my friends. Science.

Number of times i’ve reread this book – 0

3) 3) A New Earth – Eckhart tolle  

Reading this book requires focus and consistency so you don’t forget what you just finished reading. He offers insight into the human condition and discusses living in the present and shifting your perspective.

The reason I saved this book is because of the way it made me feel after. Frankly, I felt brainwashed into complete contentment at a time when I needed it.

Number of times i’ve reread this book – 0

 

 

 

Juice cleanse – the reckoning

You may wonder why I’m doing this. Will there be before and after pictures paired with annoying hashtags?  Let’s not be dramatic. It’s only 5 days. I’m doing it to remind my body that vegetables are good for it. I don’t know what I weigh but I’m positive my weight has little impact on my ability to love, be loved or get laid. 

It’s been 3 days without a steady intake of caffeine, dairy and sugar. It’s made me a little edgy. Maybe heightened my emotions a bit since eating your feelings with green juice is much less satisfying than Haagen-Dazs. (That creamy goodness just coats ones emotions like a big hug.) There’s only been a  few glitches.

  1. WATERMELON CRUSH:  Juicing is a great way to get diabetes if you juice too many super sugary fruits & veggies. I’ve stuck mostly to apples. But I thought a watermelon, cucumber blend with fresh basil from my window ledge would be fantastic. Unfortunately on the walk home from the store there was a fall. 
melon

Watermelon Tragedy

As the watermelon fell to the ground I yelled “Tragedy!” to the sky. A lovely woman came by and picked it up noticing the huge gashes with juice pouring out. “This is a tragedy,” she said. “But don’t let this stop you from enjoying this melon. It can be salvaged.” Boosted by her encouragement I continued walking the last 6 blocks with watermelon juice dripping down my body. 

     2. I NEED BACK UP:  I know I said I’d do it all by myself but you know what is a real pain? Juicing. The actual juicing is fun but cleaning the juicer is very tedious and the smell of pulp in my compost bin was really starting to get to me. So I called in some back up support from Krokodile Pear. They are a juice bar near my house with the best juices and prices in town. I bought 5 juices for $32. Hey. People change okay?

    3. PAPER STRAWS:  are easily the most expensive part of a a juice cleanse. I bought some that worked out to $1.50 per straw. So if you are looking to avoid the embarrassing ‘juice moustache’ look, I recommend stealing plastic ones from Starbucks. Or getting fancy glass ones from etsy if you are that kind of person. 

krok

These taste better than the ones I made

   4. CASSETTE TAPES:  I mentioned I was feeling a bit emotional. Picking fights on Facebook more than usual. Crying  when I couldn’t figure out the bus schedule. That sort of thing. While the lack of comfort food may be a factor, I’ve also been listening to my old cassette tapes. This trip down memory lane contains a lot of Ani Difranco and the Les Miserable soundtrack. Listening to that depressing story impacted my mood. My brother gave me that soundtrack when I was 12 which I think is pretty heavy stuff for grade 7. But now that I’m older, its very clear to me that Javert has some serious issues. He’s obsessed with work. Does he even date anyone? So many questions. Maybe the answers are in the book I will never read.

    5. HEADACHE + SOLID FOOD = LOVE:   Day 3 was a breeze but Day 2 was a nightmare. I had a huge caffeine headache and was also working all day. I poured peppermint oil on my face but it wasn’t enough. I needed drugs. Not wanting to take drugs on an empty stomach, I had a homemade vegan oatmeal cookie as a base. Then half a raisin cookie. Then some almonds. And a square of dark chocolate. It’s the best I could do that day and that’s all anyone can really ask for.