the musings of a cynical optimist


Three years ago today i said goodbye to a friend.


I only knew him for 5 months but he was my kindred spirit, my teacher, my companion, and an amazing soul.

He ate salad, slept wrapped around my head and when we were playing i could clap at him and he’s bounce two feet into the air in pure excitement. He taught me about unconditional love. He was fearless and brave, young but wise. He took care of me when i was fighting both heartsickness and the flu one winter. I promised him I would never let anything bad ever happen to him.

I was singing him a lullaby when his heart stopped beating. He was sick and all the love in the world couldn’t save him.

For weeks i saw him out of the corner of my eyes and in my dreams. I  talked to him nightly and wrote him letters thanking him for choosing me and my partner for being his guardians during his short time on earth.

We don’t talk as much any more but i believe he is my guardian now. I also believe he is in kitty heaven which for him looks like the sink, toilet, and faucet section of Canadian Tire since he was so enraptured by running water. 

My heaven doesn’t look like that but i’m assuming there is a common rumpus room where we will meet again. And when we meet i will hold him in my arms. He was truly one of a kind. Three years later I miss that little guy with all my heart.

Love you Smudge. Thank you for everything.


Comments on: "SMUDGE LOVE" (1)

  1. elmozartshelle said:

    I am crying my eyes out right now at the sadness, yet happiness of this story. My Elmo, who I said goodbye to 10 months ago, was my Smudge. Except I was lucky enough to have him around for 14 years. He was my best friend & i believe we too were kindred. Before he passed I told him he was going to a place where he could run freely on fluffy clouds, get butt massages when ever he wanted (he loved those) & eat ice cream all day (his favorite). That’s his heaven. Although I have another dog now whom I love, Elmo is irreplaceable & a piece of my heart is forever missing until we meet again.

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